Miz B's Newsletters

Sent only to the elite, special people

#1: Still Crazed After All These Years

Hello, and welcome once again (or for the first time) to the Crazed Quest!

Many of you who signed up through email "signup" sites have probably forgotten me, but long-time subscribers know me well...I write about the crazy antics of a band trying to "make it" somehowin the tricky world of music. NOT a piece of cake!

I'm VERY reliable about sending a newsletter...as long as you don't
expect it very often...for example, it has been just a brief nine months since my last one...
NEVER let it be said that I fill your inbox with garbage...insanity, yes; garbage, no.
Oh---and there are eight BIG winners in this newsletter lottery...email me to get your free CD!
elainemc@XXXX
bigdumbogo@xxxx
EMK258@XXXX
5 more posted later in the newsletter!
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Some of you have been asking:
" So what's been going on with the Crazed Cowboys since our last visit?
I never see 'em. They aren't playing out much. Are they DEAD?"
ANSWER: I don't have a helluva clue! They are not out gigging right
now... (Why? Dunno! They say they are "creating.") and they are spending
obscene amounts of time in the studio, supposedly "writing" and "composing" for Album 5.
Well, maybe they are dead, but I doubt it since I saw George/Tom*** at Thanksgiving dinner...I had to. He's my brother. No way out of it.
(***Big news! I forgot! George Lee, Jr. is DEAD, and Tom Lee is taking his place...it's no big thing, because they're the same guy. Read about this terrifying and bloody mess: (IF you want to...)
http://crazedcowboys.com/album3/igwig.html
Strange guy. Hope it doesn't run in the family. Go see what he said. He's bonkers Sad. Really, really sad.
Okay, I'm over it. Onward:
===========================
So more likely than death, they're probably hitting the Jack Daniels
pretty hard, and looking up at one another from time to time to ask,
" Hey. We got any beer?" or "We oughta write a song...later."
Or they might have a chat that goes something like this:
Cowboy #1: You know, I was thinking about a song I wrote a couple years
ago...I'd like us to work on it today. I'm filled with the wonder of our art, our energy and zeal for the tasks ahead.!
Let's make some music!
Cowboy #2: You go right ahead. Won't bother me at all. I'm busy thinking about my good old TinkerToys. Wishing I still had 'em.
Cowboy #3: Yep. I'm just fine here with my Jack D and tapping my fingers on my $3,550 new guitar. Don't really feel like working on it though. I need to get me some cash to pay for that set of drums I
bought yesterday...helluva deal.
Almost had to sell three of my basses,
the bongos and my mandolin. Then we worked out some kind of money thing...I'll just avoid the guy for a couple years and then use up my kid's college money. I don't wanna stress the INSTRUMENTS of my art.
Cowboy #2: I didn't know you played drums. Or basses. Or mandolin?
Cowboy #3: I don't. Thought we might need 'em one of these nights as we
work our fingers down to nubs, creating all this music.
Cowboy #1: Well, okay, but you aren't gonna reap any wealth or riches or fame when I bust out and make it to the Big Time if all you do is buy stuff and not play it.
All Other Cowboys in unison: Yeah, yeah. Uh huh. Yep. Okeydoke. You go
right ahead.
Cowboy #4, lying in the corner on a pile of straw: Huh? Guess I nodded off for a few minutes...my bad. He slumps over again, hitting his head on the acoustic carpeting with a dull thud, and lies there motionless, eyes closed, face smiling in peace. He'll be there for a good six hours
minimum.
A sad, lone tear weaves its way down Cowboy #1's cheek...more heartache
and disappointment from his bandmates. He's crushed like a Tiny Broken Sparrow, except Big. Like that Indian in the old commercial.
Until he suddenly realizes, No! Not sadness! Just a little bit of snuff got in his eye and was interfering with the cleansing, soothing cigarette smoke! So with a big, hearty, mind-clearing belch, he feels good as new, and joins the other Cowboys in their holiday merriment.
They will be merry all night. God help 'em.
http://crazedcowboys.com <---a ton of stuff about them. They're lame,
but they're the only band I have. So I say live and let live.
And I gotta admit---they ROCK! All three albums---VERY different. All good.
Even the experts agree.
Weird, huh? Damn fools..
=============================
And the beat goes on. Album 3, "It'll Go Where It Goes," is a hit! Our biggest seller so far... http://crazedcowboys.com/album3/igwig.html
(some of you may have already visited that page..)
Tom/George tells quite a story there. Enough to scare a ferret to death...
=============================
The one time I was able to sneak near the studio without getting caught
in the nets, mines and pitfalls they place to keep me away...all I heard was hideous painful human growls. At first, as you can imagine, I was terrified! Clearly hey were all dying of carbon monoxide poisoning. I could tell by the choking gagging sounds!
But no. When I crashed the window open with a dull hatchet that happened, ironically, to be stuck to the side of the house (with DUCT TAPE, of course) for no known reason, to give the dying nutcases some air, they stirred in their sleep, then picked up various instruments and began yodeling and playing some sort of rudimentary chords, with a couple of them shouting in a language I'd never heard. I guess I burst
their napping technique bubble.
Then Crawdad said, "Hey, Tom. Your window's broke. Could be there was
some girls trying to get in here to hear us bust our chops and go crazy all over us!"
So they all then went crawling upstairs and emerged from the house
(disoriented, since they hadn't been outdoors in months), but they couldn't find the window, as it was at least five or ten feet away.
Saddened, they decided all the girls had vamoosed.
So, they each did their "business" in the balmy Christmas air (18 degrees Farenheit)(since they were outside anyway, might as well...) then hustled back down into the studio, anxious to do more of what they'd been doing.
Then--that very moment--that is when it hit me: it was time to work on a few other things of my own, while at the same time keeping up their website and CD sales business.
So I got myself another website and I AM LOVING IT!
http://mizbsporch.com
As always--check the ever-prolific guys out at
http://crazedcowboys.com -- and be sure to listen to the clips on "It'll Go Where It Goes..." This is where they REALLY part company from the country mode and lean a lot more towards rock...and it DOES rock!
I love it...There's a story behind every tune, of course, but I won't tell you here--drop me a line if you have any questions...just hit "reply."
We can answer them in the next newsletter, next week, or month, or
year...or I can answer in my "blog" and send you there. I'm so excited to have a "blog!" Not sure what it is but I hear EVERYbody cool has one...so I got me a good ole "blog" too!
Let it never be said that I'm not in the cool crowd. Well, I'm not, of course. But we don't have to TALK about it, do we?
Here's my own blog full of blathering:
http://mizbsporch.com/news.html Definitely something to see!
Yepper, MY site. SO nice to have a place without "them Cowboyz" always banging around making trouble. Check it out and let me know what you think..I have a LOT of prizes coming to give away, and all kinds of free stuff and nonsense.
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I got a note a few days ago from a really loyal fan, who loves the Crazed Cowboys, AND has been a great fan of mine, although I don't know why...I'm not on the CDs!
She wrote,
Dear Miz B,
You are a saint to put up with those wankers...howzabout doing something on your own? I have faith in you. Go, woman!
Love,
Julia Roberts***
P.S. Tell the world about YOUR accomplishments. Miz B, you are my role
model.
As you can imagine, this got me very motivated...wow! Julia Roberts! Prior to this I didn't know I was famous in Hollywood! Who'd have thought???
So in response to Julia's request that I tell you about myself--well--I wrote a brief biography for her. We did lunch yesterday and she RAVED about it...
Here's the first bit of it:
Long, long ago, in a time when woolly mammoths had just become extinct
and the ice cream cone was invented, I was a teacher of human children.
I loved this job, and was, I think, quite good at it.
But time goes on and things change and instead of continuing as a robust, sturdy, excellent teacher, I suddenly became one with ulcers and a painful back injury, whining and puling and crawling up the
stairs like a wounded coyote who'd lost her way, ready to kill and eat anything that crossed her path.
That's not good for little kids.
The bio continues...if you're interested, visit:
http://mizbsporch.com/who-is-mizb.html
Quite a tale of adventure, love, terror, joy and a lot of hoopty-doopty this'n'that. You really should take a look. Drop me a note if you do!
***Lie. Lie, lie, lie.
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OOOPS!
My 2 other winners:
ariadne@XXXX
Boston2SC@XXXX
Everybody---new and old--- be SURE to drop me notes about the newsletter or about either of the sites---each time I hear from you, your name goes in the cookie jar an extra time---making it MORE likely that you'll be one of the fabulously lucky winners. Some people write me almost every day!
One lady in Tampa has 24 t-shirts and 47 Crazed Cowboys CDs.***
Right before Christmas, I plan to give away a few t-shirts and CD's and
beautiful photographs and other goodies on behalf of Santa, so don't be
surprised if you get a note in your email! If you got this, you're entered.
Just come see us, say nice things (or mean, we take mean, mean is OK)
(or funny---we like that!) and --- have a glorious holiday season!
That's all from me for now...tons more to tell you but it'll have to wait. I'll bet only 3 or 4 of you got this far anyway! If you
did----drop me a line. It's as easy as hitting "reply." Think: I'm good enough... and I'm smart enough...and DANGIT! GIVE ME THAT PRIZE!
Speaking of which, the last 3 winners for toay:
AmyJo@XXXX
Baddabing25@XXXX
ILUVbobby@XXXX Emal me!
And remember, Crazed Questers:
Miz B LOVEZZZZ Ya!
(to unsubscribe, simply hit reply and put unsubscribe in the subject line. But we'll miss you, and I'll probably cry with horrifying abandon. Life can be so painful sometimes, huh?)
xooxxoxxooxxxooxoxo
P.S. To those of you who know and love Lucy the Incorrigible Dog---she is
as frisky and full of nonsense as ever, and her newsletter comes out soon!
Dog-lovers: THIS is one you don't wanna miss; drop me a note to sign up!
***More lies. Lie after lie after lie. I tend to exaggerate. It's a problem. You'll be relieved to know that I'm in a 12-step program: "Hi, my name is Miz B, and I am an Internet exaggerator." (I'm still on Step 1.)